For the longest time, I dreamed of being a stay-at-home-mom.
The reality is I’m actually terrible at being a stay-at-home-mom because I have a hard time doing the things that most SAHM’s rock at.
I hate meal-planning.
I’m actually terrible at meal planning. Since we are an one-income family, I should really rock it out when it comes to meal planning and grocery shopping but the whole process gives me anxiety and is exhausting. I literally break out in hives thinking about it. Okay, it’s not that bad but it’s bad. Especially because we eat out ALL. THE. TIME.
I really like naps. And sleeping in.
I have always loved sleep. I was the teenager who slept until noon on the weekends. And it’s probably the exact reason that I ended up with two children who wake at the crack of dawn. I mean I get that it’s a good habit to wake early but 4:30 am is better spent sleeping. The fact that I can choose to take a nap during school hours when the baby is napping often disrupts everything that I should be doing. Like meal planning.
Playdates are really hard for me.
Whether it’s for my kids or myself, getting together with others takes some work. I love it when I’m there but to get there I have to talk myself into it — really hype it up. I’m not the mom that attends all the playdates and groups and to be honest, I’m lucky if we have one a week. But my oldest (and mama) needs the interaction so we do them.
We watch too much TV.
I have to admit that we are totally TV people. We love binge-watching Netflix on the weekends. I also really love the background noise. The TV is always on in our house and to most people that could be a potential problem.
I love my pajamas.
I wear pajamas. Yes to bed like normal people but I love wearing them all the time. There are days that I seriously consider wearing my pajamas to run errands or take my oldest to and from school. I force myself to get dressed but as soon as we are home for the night, I put my pajamas right back on. Even if it’s 4:00 in the afternoon. While living in my pajamas is so comfy, it doesn’t motivate me to work or tackle my to-do list. It’s not uncommon to see me in a full face of makeup, rocking my favorite red lipstick…. in my favorite pajama pants!
I love working.
In fact, I love it so much that I went and got a Master’s degree. I’m even working a side hustle from home. Why? Because it’s a part of who I am. I thrive in working environments. I value work relationships and get excited when I need to develop new skills or tackle difficult projects. I feel like I am at my best when I’m balancing work and home. Being at home can sometimes drive me a little crazy. And being completely honest, I like the break I get when I get to work.
I could go on and on… and on listing things that disqualify me from “SAHM of the Year.” I don’t rock at being at home full-time but I can tell you that even though I struggle, I still love my kids. They’re healthy and happy boys that are blessed to make memories at home with mom.
So what if the dishes aren’t done, the laundry is piled up, and I’m still wearing yesterday’s hair and pajamas? Yes, it might be a stretch for me but I know that when I do return to work, I will be missing those midday movies and snuggles. I’ll wish for the mess when we’ve played all morning. I’ll miss making my son his normal hotdog for lunch. I’ll wish I had a few hours to simply be at home.