I’m a single mom.
No one is here to celebrate me.
Birthdays feel a little different when you have to take your kids to pick out your present. Or when something awesome happens with one of the kids and you bask in the moment alone, looking around and longing for someone to share it with. That promotion you get at work? The initial smile fades as you pick up the phone and hope one of your friends is able to get away later so they can help celebrate. As many moms know, once there are kids in the picture, it can easily become all about them all the time and as much as you love celebrating all their little victories, there are times when we moms want to be celebrated too.
But really, what do you when there is no one there to celebrate the great person that you are?
Before kids, my birthday was like a holiday to me! I would have brunch, dinner, night drinks/dancing and stay out until bar time. I tried to go out for dinner, drinks and dancing the year after my first baby was born and it was a total failure! I was so tired by 9 pm that I grabbed my birthday mug and headed home after half a drink. I held on as long as I could celebrating my birthday like I used to. But when the little ladies came along, it was time to face reality. Time to accept the change, and the challenge!
Like all parents, slowly everything revolves around our family, and I’m left feeling burned out and left out. Here are some of the ways I celebrate myself so I’m not left running on empty.
Five things you could try to celebrate the wonderful person you are!
- Put the Kids in Charge – I turned my birthday into a day where my girls plan the day for me, even if it means Happy Meals for lunch and Chuck E Cheese for dinner. Completed with a Dollar Tree trip! It might not look like the birthday bashes of my past, but the kids feel involved and are eager to join in the celebration.
- Try Something New – I started doing date night babysitting. It brings in extra income, my girls get to spend some time with their dad and I get to get out and enjoy other children and a change of scenery! (SAHM here and do daycare/homeschool. So I welcome any change of scenery!)
- Do Something You Love – For me, it’s my photography. I love the reactions from clients, it’s even better than birthday shout outs!
- Mindful Moments of Self-Care – Setting aside a few minutes a day (10-60) just for reading, writing, photo editing, sitting in the yard alone or even removing old nail polish! It feels good to set even just a little time to do something that I like and have no one complain about it!
- Celebrate the Good in Writing – Writing out all the good things that have happened to me that day, or since I last wrote in my notebook. I also go back and read them when I’m feeling extra lonesome or unappreciated.
Not a total resolution to not feeling celebrated, but I hope I’m able to help those of you struggling to feel a bit more celebrated! Cheers to us!