The other day, a friend of mine said she was impressed by how “together” I was. Me? Together? Thank goodness this conversation was taking place over text because I laughed at the thought. I don’t have it together. Not at all. My house is a mess, most days I don’t shower, and the number of times I have completely forgotten a commitment until the calendar alert pops up is probably in the hundreds.
I don’t have it all together. But I’ve gotten pretty good at faking it.
My house looks clean? Sure… You just don’t see the laundry baskets full of the crap I just picked up hiding in the garage. My hair looks nice? Pffft. Dry shampoo, baby. I haven’t washed my hair in days. Oh, I have makeup on? Yeah. But only because I did it in the car before pulling out of the garage. I probably haven’t brushed my teeth today, and I’m only wearing deodorant because I keep it stashed in the glovebox. More days than not, I feel like a hot mess, just like everyone else. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you’re not measuring up.
I try really hard to make it seem like I have it all together, but that’s all a lie.
I didn’t realize that by trying so hard to look like I had it together I would be putting pressure on someone else who feels like I do. So, it’s time to own up to what real life looks like. I do not have it together. I pretend like I do because I’m insecure. Most days, I feel like I’m totally failing at this parenting thing, and the only reason I try so hard to pretend is because I’m not at all confident in myself. So, when you see the mom who seems to have it all together, remember: chances are she’s just faking it. And if she’s not, that still doesn’t make you a bad mom. Despite what the 50’s sitcoms would have us believe, you can be a great mom with a messy house and dirty clothes. Love your kids, and give yourself grace. You deserve it.