I’ll Never Be a Room Mom

Room Mom

This is a sort of a Teacher’s Appreciation post, because I honestly don’t know how you people deal with these tiny humans day in and day out. I recently spent a day as a chaperone on my son’s school field trip, and it was the absolute worst. I spent most of the day in a cold sweat, praying it would end before I had a mental breakdown. It solidified my decision that I will never, ever, be a room mom, and that’s ok by me.

Field trips, by nature, cause kids to go completely bananas.

There’s just something about being on the loose mid-day and able to cause chaos with some random parent who is in charge of your life. That poor sap happened to be me last week. I decided to take a day off and volunteer to chaperone, much to my son’s ecstatic delight. I felt a little guilty at first, since the other parents all knew one another and all the kids. Which of course brought to light just how little I participate and volunteer in the classroom. But, you know what, I know for a fact that I’m not cut out for the “room mom” life. 

Right off the bat, I get stuck with a group of kids who have more energy than my own son, which is saying a lot. After barely being able to control my group on the way out of the school, I endured a bus ride from hell, that consisted of one kid constantly trying to steal my phone, and another asking if they could try my glasses on. I’m already dying at this point, and the day has barely begun.

All the kids keep fighting to hold my hand, and of course my son is getting wildly over protective of me. I keep rotating sweaty hand, after sweaty hand. And I’m now imaging all the different illnesses I am going to get over the next few weeks and I just really want some Purell in my life. I’ve become more and more germaphobic over the years, which is a very unfortunate trait for a mother. And, if all this hand holding wasn’t bad enough, at one point a kid straight up licked my arm. I repeat: licked me.

My stress level was off the charts all day long.

Once the day was finally over, I literally ran home in celebration, pondering whether or not I should have a 3PM beer. It got me thinking about how it takes a special kind of person to volunteer at school all the time and that teachers must have some sort of super gene that creates extra patience. I could barely withstand a day of it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always first in line to volunteer to bring in treats or my time on projects. I like being behind the scenes, that’s got to count for something, right?

Most days, I feel like I can barely handle my own kids, let alone a bunch of other kids. And honestly, I’ve never been a real “kid” person, which I know might sound weird, since I’m a mom. So, the idea of being surrounded by a whole heap of kids all the time isn’t appealing. Of course, I do love being able to chaperone occasionally on my son’s field trips, because it brings him so much joy. So, I can deal with the chaperone stress every once in a while, but I’ll definitely leave the rest to the pros. 

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