Maybe You Should be a Mom :: A Dr. Seuss Parody

My son has been really into Dr. Seuss’s Maybe you Should Fly a Jet, Maybe you Should be a Vet lately.

In it, there is a laundry list of different occupations, and I started thinking about the never-ending list of jobs I tackle in my day-to-day life as a mom. Didn’t I read somewhere once that if stay-at-home moms were paid a salary, it would be in the six figures? 


Dr Seuss parody

So, here is my take, for anyone considering the hardest job I’ve ever loved:

Want to be a bake-sale baker? Want to be a lunch/snack maker?

Launderess. Chauffeur. Time-out-giver. Backpack packer. Fight forgiver.

Do you want to be a vacuumer? Or wiper of the poo? You’ve got to do something. What DO you want to do?

Cleaner? Preener? Intervenor? Or maybe just the parent who’s “meaner.”

How about an ironer? A folder… or a waiter*?

How about a nurse? How about a reminder? How about the perpetual lost-things-finder?

Do you wish to be a dinner disher? Clogged drain fisher? Bedtime wisher?

How about a coffee drinker? How about a scatterbrained thinker?

Do you want to have a day off now and then? Do you want to work all the time?

Do you want to have to speak in sing-song, falsetto, and rhyme?

Would you rather work at home and be lonely… or out in public where your kid can make a scene?

Would you like to do the drop-off? And the pick up? While buying groceries in-between?

How about a clothing smeller? How about an occasional yeller?

You could be a story reader. You could be a feeder. You could be a lot of things, if you are a breeder.

You could be a mombie! Or a big wine drinker! (No judgment, sometimes kids are stinkers…)

Puree maker. Heart breaker. Picture taker.

Some moms make good pancake flippers. Some moms leave the house in slippers**

Some moms make good listeners, other moms make good boo-boo kissers.

Maybe you should be a working mom. Maybe you should stay at home.

How about a hand holder? Or maybe give rides on your shoulders?

Helicopter parent? More of a guide? It’s not easy to decide

Someday you will make the call… hope you don’t hate scrubbing crayon off walls.

Even if you always raise your voice, you’ll still know it was the right choice.

*Seriously, I’m ALWAYS waiting for someone.

** Ain’t nothin wrong with that.

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