Living The Dream
Some girls dream of the perfect wedding. Some dream of finding their prince charming. Others dream of a career and a fairy tale life. All I ever wanted was to be a mom. I was the kid who wanted to help kids. Even my dolls were orphans, kids with special needs or someone needing somewhere to go. Adopting or having a bunch of kids was always the dream. I’ve always loved other cultures and found the majority of my friends weren’t like me. They didn’t always look like me. Barely any came from the same neighborhood. It is (and always has been) exciting for me to be around people who are different than me.
So, it probably didn’t shock those around me when I married a Chinese guy and we adopted 5 kids out of foster care.
But, it sure surprised me! It’s been an adventure since we met our first daughter 7 years ago. We quickly met another son, adopted those 2 kids, moved into the heart of the city in Sherman Park, put the kids in an incredible Milwaukee Choice school, and then ended up adopting a sibling group of 3 – all in less than 5 years!
While it was a whirlwind, I LOVE to learn and understand how people work, so it has been a fascinating time. Going from kid-less to parents of 5 has been life-changing.
After thousands of hours with the kids’ therapists, psychiatrists, specialists, reading and learning from other moms, I am now just starting (two and a half years later) to start wrapping my mind around who I want to be as a woman, mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
I am learning where my priorities lie, who I want to be and what is important to me. Getting a handle on how to own what is in my control and let go of the rest is my newest battle. I spent too many years trying to convince others to learn what I’m learning. While this can be helpful at times, people don’t typically want you to help them figure out their lives.
Trying to tell people how to live their lives was never my intent. I often feel misunderstood, unseen and alone. Learning, re-evaluating and adjusting my life are so important to me. I tend to assume everyone shares that same heart. While it’s clear I don’t have my act together, my confidence and love to share what I’ve learned tends to push people away. I am often conflicted because I don’t want anyone to have to live in ignorance. I want everyone to have all of the information possible so they can become who they want to be.
Last year as I was overwhelmed with information and learning, I decided to start a blog. It is my way of processing what I am learning, reflecting and capturing my thoughts. I love how other moms have been encouraged to see I am also struggling to know what is best for my kids and my family. I want all moms to know: you are not alone. We all need help, community, encouragement and each other. I am super excited to now be joining this community of moms who want to better the world by bettering each other.