My Year of “I Don’t Know”

Since the new year, I’ve heard so many people talk about how this is their year of saying “no,” or their year of saying “yes!” I was so excited for these people to tackle these life-bettering tasks. It got me thinking about myself, though, and how this year is all about unpredictability and the unknown. So, this year is my year of “I don’t know.”

I wear a lot of different hats, and each one pulls me in different directions. All of a sudden, it feels like it has caught up to me, and I realize that I can’t do it all. Shocker, right? I’ve started to slowly let things go out of my control, and I don’t know how things will turn out, but I do know that the world won’t end because of it.

Being an entrepreneur has made me always want to say “yes” to everything, but being a mom has made me say “no” to more things. It was something I had to try and balance. But recently my youngest was diagnosed with autism, so I’m now an autism mom, too. This has thrown everything into chaos. 

Loosening my grip on everything is hard

Since my son was diagnosed, everything has been a complete unknown. I don’t know how things are going to work or turn out. I’ve had to change my approach to my work life to accommodate countless therapy sessions and meetings. It’s hard. I’m going against my nature to say “yes” to all things work-related and throwing myself into a world of unknown. Am I making the wisest career decisions? I don’t know. But I do know that my son is more important, so I’ll happily take that risk.

Even though everything has turned to “I don’t know,” I’ve found that I have gained a lot of faith. I need to believe that even though I don’t know a lot of outcomes right now, I have faith that everything will find its place. I have faith that this year, or possibly the next few years, will be “I don’t know” years, but that’s OK.

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