My Birth Plan is to Not Have a Birth Plan

birth plan

I didn’t have a birth plan and guess what? I went to the hospital and had a baby.

Before the arrival of my first daughter, I thought a little bit about it. When I say “a little,” I mean I read a few articles online and downloaded a checklist from a popular baby site and filled it out. Oh, and after I filled it out I didn’t even bring it to the hospital.

We did not take a tour of the hospital. The path to labor and delivery was clearly marked with storks, so we found it. We did not take any classes because we figured, what is there to know really? You push — baby comes out. Or if Baby doesn’t….someone will go in to get it.

As you have probably gathered by now, I did not read “What to Expect When You are Expecting.” I think filling your head with all of the what ifs and worst case scenarios can drive you straight to the looney bin and getting ready to have a baby is stressful enough. 

I don’t know if I was overly optimistic or straight up naive. Either way, at the end of a 12-hour ordeal, I had a perfect baby girl.

Everything was fine. But, thanks to the Internet, I now know that there were about 1.2 billion things that could have gone wrong, and luck doesn’t even begin to explain my first birthing experience.

Now that I am pregnant again with Baby #2, let’s talk about what my plan is this time around. Same. Have a baby, trust my body, trust my baby, believe in the process. I can’t be troubled with making plans that will never pan out. Reading all the what-ifs and “prepping” for every single thing under the sun that will probably, hopefully never happen. My husband and I literally just talked to our family last week about who is going to take my oldest when I go into labor and I’m 35 weeks pregnant! See what I mean? No plan.

I grow the baby, I do my part, I show up to the hospital, hand over my information, shout “Epidural Please!” and have a baby.

Everyone is entitled to do it their own way. I don’t feel like I was robbed of any special experience or bonding or spiritual enlightening by having my first baby this way, and I think I will be happy doing it this way again. I felt safe, I felt that my baby was safe. Honestly, I don’t know if it was the birth experience I always wanted because I literally had no clue what to expect. But, I know I felt good about it afterward.

My peace of mind came from knowing that there were qualified people that were there to handle any and every curveball that could potentially be thrown our way. To me, there were just things that I shouldn’t worry about because they were totally out of my control. I am not a big list maker or one to get too hung up on how things should go. I am more of the, “we’ll cross the bridge when we get” to it type.

The moral of my story is simple — chose whatever is best for you.

If it makes you feel better to have every single detail planned, and then a plan for if that plan fails, get out the highlighters and coordinated binders and get after it! Whatever your choice is, it’s yours to make. Make this experience whatever you want it to be. There is a case for every option. The single most important piece of advice I have received in this process is “you can say no.” Your body, your baby, your birthing experience.

If you need me I will be over here hanging out and waiting for this baby to let me know she’s ready and then we’ll figure it out from there. No plan is my kind of a plan.

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